Timidity

Actually, this is my first post in April and I delayed it this much because it is something that pierces me. So let's move! What is timidity?

     Timidity has to do with shyness and fear; not being able to embrace that which you wanted to as at when apt and guess what? it can make you end up at the back burner! 

       In no particular order, i'll be letting you in about my life as a timid person, the effects of timidity and possible solutions.

Just like any other problem, the first solution to that problem is a recognition of the problem; and so to conquer timidity, you must first recognize it for what it is (not like me who always felt I was shy and introverted whereas I was timid), desire a change, and work towards enforcing that desired change.

 "Do you know that bold teams achieve, while timid teams survive"? and that is what I have been doing since. Before, I was achieving my life, but from the moment I entered secondary school, I started surviving/enduring life. My timidity actually started when I first entered secondary school and it kept on growing trout the 6 years. It became full blown in UNILAG and though I hate to admit it, I actually wasted 4 years of my life while I was there." A little about myself here", Do you know I was the lead school debater in primary school? just imagine how the table turned around for me years later. Even when I was in Bayelsa, The only reason why none of the acquaintances I made (except Seun shotunde and Damilola) will believe that I am shy is because from the moment I entered Kaiama camp till when I passed out , I kept on telling myself everytime that "if for any reason I decided to be shy in Bayelsa, then something must be wrong with me. Well that worked to an extent because I was able to talk to people, make friends, be myself but the thing is I didn't address the real problem because I didn't know it then. I wasn't just shy, I was timid and at that point I wasn't aware. But honestly, as much as I enjoyed Bayelsa, I wish I handled so many matters differently but no! I handled the matters timidly.

Timidity makes people stagnant; they live in their complacent world, never aiming or seeing the big picture life offers. Timid people never go far in life; they end up languishing in their comfort zone  with regrets as a result of the fear to reach for that which they never aspired to reach.  My sister has once said it that I am not proactive, neither am I spontaneous. Until recently, I was hardly enthusiastic about anything, while in school and Alliance francaise; honestly, I was just passing time. I had no dreams/goals, I had no focus, I had no plan for the future, I wasn't purpose driven 1 bit because I had no purpose. I hardly had friends, I lost touch even with my QC friends, I was conveniently dwindling academically, I scarcely had friends, I was a shadow of myself, I was barely living- I had no idea of who I was, it was like I was under a curse/spell, maybe I actually was because I have no other explanation. You know I always felt I was shy/introverted, but when I started seeing other people who also felt there were shy but they were making exploits, that was when I started guessing my situation was beyond mere shyness and funny enough I once looked up the meaning of timidity in my dictionary but on reading it, I started rejecting it " I remember saying timidity is not me portion, I am only shy and I will get over it, I will never be timid ( I think that was either after school or during NYSC)

I was so timid that I never wanted anybody to see me reading books, I was always in bed faking sleep (that is why people that know me will always say I love sleep)- the more annoying part is that I took this attitude with me to my P.P.A, back then in school after giving my life to Christ, I was so timid that I always wanted to be invisible both in class and in fellowship, I never became a worker in any of the fellowships I attended not because I wasn't interested in working in God's vineyard but because I was too shy to stand up to indicate interest or show commitment. At AF, I had no friends; I will get there before class starts, seat in a secluded place, plug in my earpiece and leave immediately after lectures, I wasn't even friends with one person! Yes my earpiece, my earpiece was my saving grace I always had it plugged in, sometimes when I wasn't listening to anything because my eardrums were beginning to ache, I would still leave the earpiece in my ear to feign busy mode. I remember when Mayowa accosted me to know why I liked being a back bencher/ invisible, I cant remember how how friendship ended but I know that just like others he began to think I was snobbish, saucy, empty and proud.

Do you know one of the worst things that can happen to somebody??? it is people telling you that you are smart and intelligent or that you are bold and can talk(asin you are blunt) or people telling you that you have a very great/powerful personality whereas you cant face strangers, you cant even mentor your younger acquaintances/preach the gospel, you can come out to meet new people or even very old friends, you can't even stand up to pay your tithe in church( it is only general thanksgiving you are willing to stand up for), you do all you can for you not to look good/attractive, you think very low of yourself and decide to look tacky so nobody will compliment your looks; once you leave the fore-walls of your room/house, your heart just starts to beat heavily. This was my life. People that new me from primary and secondary school felt I was on first class standing or minimum of 4 points
whereas I was shuttling between 3rd class and 2:2 and so I had to diligently avoid this people, the first time my dad was disappointed in me was when he found out my true academic standing; I had been lying him all along and after becoming born again I couldn't continue lying. That was my first blow as a new convert, I remember crying and praying to God to touch my dad's heart to forgive me. When he passed on I found out that he still prayerfully wished that I finished with a first class (i'm crying now, I hate the fact that I disappointed him, he tried so much for me, it was really beyond me, I didn't have any power over myself then, something was working against me; I promise to make him very proud of me someday, I promise).

Timidity causes one to lose friends and meaningful contacts. Till tomorrow I still hope to reconnect with Mayowa and Debo and that we can be very good friends. Debo's "Do you hate me" still haunts me. It feels like he asked me that question just yesterday, was I that bad?. I know a lot of people felt I was a terrible snob and that I was stupidly proud and so they just disliked me when they saw I wasn't ready to talk to them, but it feels worse when somebody I now respect asks me if I hate him( that guy made 1001 attempts to talk to me, I just didn't give him face and he only just wanted to be friends, it wasn't like he was chiking me). And Mayowa- I know I offended that guy. He tried his best; at least to the best of his knowledge and he would have been my best friend, he really wanted to bring out a good in me, I just decided to frustrate him. Yes, I was that bad :( "i'm sorry".

Timidity embarrasses people and makes them appear unintelligent and dumb. You cant imagine what happened to me in my first interview ever( that was last year). I had passed stage 1(test and I was now in the interview stage. When the interviewer was asking me questions, I was just misbehaving. I just embarrassed  myself in that interview, I couldn't even talk or say anything sensible. I didn't need a soothsayer to tell me I wasn't going to get the job, I knew it already, it was glaring. I had appeared dumb aand unintelligent and no employer would have hired me.

In order not to compound your regrets, the time to start dealing with timidity is now! Tell it to the Holy spirit, Never accept defeat, Always try something new, exercise your faith in God everytime- timidity is an absolute opposite of faith, Initiate conversations with people, smile a lot, be loving and caring, engage in activities upon activities, list your strengths and thank God for them- stop concentrating on your weaknesses/failures- find your passion, be productive per time, psyche yourself- learn to speak and act confidently, endeavour to always appear neat and dress very well- looks go a long way in building confidence , always hold your head up- look at people eye to eye- practice good posture, stand tall- especially if you are short like me,-  learn a a new skill- learn something that nobody else knows so you would have something to offer, get informed, ask more, talk more- you can start with talking to yourself, but move to talking with people- stop holding conversations only in your head, be committed and diligent, and think highly of yourself- hold on to God's opinion about you, work on building a positive self-image and then stop focusing on yourself, learn to focus on helping others, believe me focusing on helping others works much more than you can fathom.
Yes, overcoming timidity is a struggle/battle and so you have to push yourself, come out of your comfort zone, do the opposite of what you have been doing, put yourself out there- you won't be shot for trying, stop being quiet- let your voice be heard and lest I forget, never compare yourself to others; if you have been doing it before now, stop it this moment!- ( I have not gotten over it yet, I am still working on it, but I know that by God's grace I will see the end of it and hinestly I cant wait, I yearn to live a productive life and to have a good grasp of it).

Always remember 2 Tim 1:7- For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline; stop being afraid of what others will think about you, don't be a man-pleaser and it will end in praise/testimony.

in my mind's eye

So I'm wondering, do believers really have a good reward on earth?? Maybe that's not really the question, but what I am driving at is "what explains the reason why it always appears that unbelievers at the only ones flourishing"?

Okay, God doesn't think the way I think; but this is really puzzling. While we were in school, believers and unbelievers had equal chances alike. It was more of a " if you cant work your way up, then be diligent" kind of thing. Fair enough! What happened after school, I found out many people started working after school and that's before commencing NYSC and they were earning cool cash and building their CV. Initially I thought it had to do with finishing with good grades; I was surprised to find out that even 2:2 and 3rd  class graduates alike were working in reputable organisations too.

When NYSC finally came, while we were flung here and there; so many people redeployed so as to allow them continue working where they were and today while I am yet to have 1 month experience, they are celebrating 1 year/2 years work experience with a reasonably sized account balance to show for it and it gets me wondering again, doesn't it pay to be street smart in securing your future???

After NYSC nko?? People like me that couldn't redeploy/ couldn't redeploy to desired locations started job searching. Telme, what explanation do you have for 2 friends who went to the same school, were in same class, they are best friends and now they are colleagues? What of 2:2  and 3rd class graduates working in organisations that do not accept below 2:1? Does it really pay to "wait for it, tho it tarry". Everyday, Tinuke's bbm update floods my mind; her update meant that when she had struggled to get to the top, those who waited for it will be staggering after her. And again I am wondering, should a believer be mocked for trusting God to get an appointment letter one day to resume work??

What of marriage, have you noticed that believers do not get married young?? That's a recent observation tho and I stand corrected! In my church for one; 3 of our Sunday school female teachers are still unmarried( I don't know if they are more than 3, but I am sure of these 3) and the more puzzling part is that the youngest of them should be 28/29 and they are not even in courtship yet. Today the pastor shared the testimony of a 51 year old classmate who was just getting married for the first time and I was like WTH! I don't like that. She even went further to say she took 2 church sisters with her( 39 and 42) to the wedding to encourage them not to lose hope. But seriously, I don't understand why....should it be this way for believers. These are the things that make unbelievers think that their lifestyle is better-off whereas it should be the other way round. Our reward should not only be in heaven, it should start from earth.

Finally, about fruit of the womb. I know it is God Almighty that gives this gift and I wonder why a woman who got married as a virgin would wait so many years before conception; not even with a single miscarriage. And then an unbeliever abi a church goer( I have been using unbeliever since, but I actually mean church goers; because Christians of today prefer to be living their lives as they please, and still go to church just so that they can hide under the canopy of being Christians) will start sleeping with her spouse once they start dating and then she gets pregnant. These days, it is pregnancy that makes many men marry; they are comfortable, they can take care of a family, they are just not responsible enough or bold enough to ask hers to marry hims; and so once their girlfriend says she is pregnant, it gives them boldness to start wedding plans.
And to what end is this whole chastity thing and keeping the bed undefiled if a believer would have to be in tears after marriage? Have you even noticed that these unbelievers get married early (I am speaking for females here) and they get married to rich guys too( getting married to a rich guy is not my target tho).

Should being a believer be a thing of reproach? Does being a true christian have anything to do with living a mediocre life?? Does living as a true christian mean you are only on earth to endure and work out your salvation with tears and worries? Does being a believer mean that you are not entitled to living a happy life other than the inner joy of eternal life?? Honestly, there are contacts I have been avoiding since I finished secondary school; but I want to reconnect  with them and I don't want to feel like they are living better lives, rather I want them to see that I am equally doing and looking well and that I have something that they do not have.

In my opinion, I feel that the inner peace/joy believers have, should be a plus and not be the sole thing we hold onto. Unbelievers should see us and turn to God because of what they can see in us. Believers should live in prosperity, and yes I mean prosperity not riches and lets see if an unbeliever will not want to try out our God. What's the essence if at age 29, I am not yet engaged and all my sexual hormones are already activated and I find myself struggling not to entertain the idea of fornication in my mind, whereas my mates that dated while in school are comfortably and happily married with 2/3 children. How on earth will I even want to attend our secondary school reunion party? Can I face people this way?? I don't even have a serious job yet; is this life??

I and Bayelsa

Bayelsa, Bayelsa, Bayelsa....I remember how heartbroken I was when  Kemi told me on our trip to Ilesa that I was posted to Bayelsa. Of the four of us that where delayed to go in Batch B I was the only one going that far. Tinuke was posted to Oyo, Diana was to Ogun and Kemi was initially posted to Osun but She redeployed to Oyo while in camp.  You can't imagine how I felt; It was even Bammie that made me feel better. Bammie was a batch A corper posted to Enugu who had always wished for me to come join her there and so when I told her it was Bayelsa, she felt bad that it wasnt Enugu but she encouraged me to be of good cheer that I would enjoy it.

That didn't console me at all. When I got to Orientation camp I started making moves to redeploy.  Not even with all the razz people around; I couldn't imagine living one year in a foreign land with these kind of people. My sister even helped me to get one doctor's report that I kept on renouncing its contents. Initially when I opened it on my phone (because it was scanned to my mail) I felt bad. I hated the idea of having to claim this disease just because I wanted to redeploy but I did it anyways. I printed, submitted, was shortlisted and I went for the interview(lol). Just in case you don't know, I am very bad at lying and so I wasn't very convincing though I tried to, besides there was nepotism and I just decide not to indulge in it (the CMD was Tosin's friend, I could have just used him to influence it, afterall it worked for Tosin).

So as you are guessing already, I was denied the grace to redeploy, I cried ehn! Seriously it pained me, but before then I had already met Uncle who God was using to teach me to accept BY as his plan for me. I really wanted to redeploy but I wasn't attempting to go extra lengths to ensure it because I was accepting His will. I just painfully told myself that I wasn't going to work it/ lobby for it. Thank God for Uncle sha, he was really there for me that period. My involvement with NCCF was because of him. He didn't even allow me to stray away, he was always watching my back 24/7. Either on the last day of camp or the day before, he called to ask what my plan was after camp and I was like find my P.P.A somehow and Lagos all the way. I remember he was like, i'm not going anywhere on my own, that I was going to go with him to NCCF family house, then P.P.A next day, then rural rugged, then home and that was how NYSC in BY started for me.

I got back a month earlier than expected because of Zenith Bank and I had family house to stay all thanks to Uncle who is my BY blessing #1; okay that's about it. Like I've been telling people, the total number of friends I had in BY in 1 year is more than the number of friends I had after 4 years in UNILAG. I had the opportunity of living my life just my way, not trying to be in any body's good books or to impress anybody and I enjoyed every ounce of it.

hmmmn....prior to coming to BY, I just wanted to survive life, get a job after service, get married, have kids, train them well, have cars, gadgets, clothes, accessories and all; but all that changed after I met some people. I was privileged to meet some people who taught me that life goes beyond amassing wealth and just enjoying the pleasures of life. Today, I desire so much to live a fulfilling life, to be a philanthropist, to finance peoples' education, to support many good causes, to be an important person in my generation, all thanks to God through them. However, I'm still awaiting the greater good of my serving in BY. I have heard the good news from different people that resulted from serving in BY. Initially, I thought it was going to be immediate employment; so I keyed into Dammie, Jobi and Seun's testimonies and I seriously prayed towards it. I remember how confused I was whether to carry all my belongings to Lagos or to leave some in Bayelsa and return later. Thank God for how it turned out still. At least now I know that the greater good attached to my serving in BY is still pending, however I want it now. O Lord please!!!! I want to know/feel/certify that my serving in BY was divinely orchestrated.

classy me *dancing*

*for my mind* huh???

Don't mind me. So I just remembered this incident in QC when 1 senior sent I and my friend to go get something(can't remember what it was) at all cost and when we returned she asked us how we got it, if we went begging for it. I think my friend said yes and then she turned to me and asked if I also went begging and I just responded: I didn't go begging, I went asking! she just looked at me and said "you are classy" :D.

Maybe this is what so many people that say I am buti( aje butter) actually mean to say, because I have been saying it and I will continue to say it; I am not one. I was not born with a silver spoon, neither did I grow up with one in my mouth. Seriously, forget the fact that I went to one of the best schools in Nigeria; it wasn't our doing, it was God's. That was his gift/reward/blessing to my dad and I won't lose sight of it( maybe I did at some point).

I still remembered the day I para-ed for Emeke, Emeke is my personal person but I expected him to have known better. Just because he was in a relaxed mode with his guys and I was being classy not buti and we were talking about so many things. I can't remember exactly what led to it, I just know he said "don't mind Kemi oo, she b unilag babe, dyuno she finished from QC?". You needed to have seen me that day, I was very angry with him. He noticed, asked why, apologised, never mentioned it again and that settled it. He even covered up for me one day his friend asked where my twin brother was.

Yea rate me high, think highly of me after-all I'm my father's queen but let it be based on how we interact not on the schools I went to, or how I speak ( people forge accent). I remember back in school then when my roommate asked me to lend her 100000, tbh I was elated, Like seriously, after assessing me , you are convinced I must have more than 100000 and so I should be able to lend it to you. I just told her "I claim it dear", really soon I will be basking in millions.

During nysc, I remember some people telling me they are sure that I am very connected and that sure job is waiting for me, what of **** that said he is 100% sure that I have an inheritance in my father's will waiting for me and **** that made me give him my touch phone just because he felt I had the means of getting a new one at ease. Seriously I have even lost count of how many times this particular misconception came-up during my service year.(I guess I have a very rosy and beautiful future).

Even at Poise, I remember how surprised Anderson was, when I worked in a factory with him (he was so surprised and couldn't contain/hide it). He told me he had always felt I was buti and never thought i would have enjoyed the one day job in a factory. I was even surprised when he said it because I know I was very swag-less while I was at Poise.

Even now that if you shake me left, right, front, back, center, anyhow and you cash all the money I have in bank, the numerical value is not up to #1000 ( I know you will find it hard to believe but seriously I will rather not tell you than lie), it is interesting to know that some people still think highly of me, like I am one buxed-up chick with no worries asking me to recharge their phones,lend them money and all.

...What more can I say? I am grateful to God! I can't explain it but really I am thankful. I sincerely pray to be truthfully buoyant so that I can actually help people. I am classy and will be prosperous in addition.

So as the day goes, I feel it more. I am so close to smiling, being happy and beginning to live that fulfilling life, Im not sure I have said this before but my greatest fear in life is not dying neither is it losing a loved one, It is not fulfilling purpose. Most of my unhappiness since realisation was caused by non-fulfillment. ANY time I see the likes of Pst Dami, Toju, Timi, Mayowa, Debo, Bisola, Tayo, it saddens me. I have always feared my mates excelling beyond me and guess what it has always happened. Now Im convinced it always happened only for me to learn; and the longer it took me to learn, the more it happened. Im not established yet; even as a young lady, I haven't started the journey let alone say that I have not got to my destination yet, but I am confident that I will start, overtake and dominate. I will make God happy to have sent me to earth. I refuse to live the life of a chicken(meaningless life) and I denounce any iota of poverty lurking around me(tbh I have felt what it is like to be in lack this period).

My immediate ache has just been the timing, I want it now. Feels like the world is eagerly awaiting my manifestation and sadly enough I am yet to catch a glimpse of this manifestation. Im tired of avoiding calls, or having to listen to people who make you feel like the reason all is not going as desired is because you are in sin/you dont know how to pray/ provoke God to work in your favor; People like Kunle just make me feel better; I know I have a good heritage :D.
*chuckles* I know I want new friends but seriously if it must be now then they have to be matured minds not people that will piss me off when im trying to reason with them.

watching out for miibee one month from now, 6 months from now, I year from now, 3 yrs from now and 5 years from now and frankly speaking I am excited.

"should I include this, should I....i better not- It is for my knowledge only"
#fingerscrossed
#God's mercy, favor and grace be with me*
#wish me luck abi all the best*
#IamSoaring*
#you, yes you are next in line
#HappymeSmiling meDancing meGrateful me*
#tualetoBaba

*speechless*

I feel so weak right now, I mean I really want the tears to flow out freely, I want to cry, my heart is heavy, what is all this? I hate hearing about deaths of acquaintances let alone friends, it weakens me (O God please don't let me lose any of my friends anytime soon, let us live long), I dunno how I will handle it). I remember my sister telling me of the awful condition her classmate passed through just before he passed on, I never knew Jeffery, I had never even heard of him before that day, but the sadness in my sister's voice did it all and before I knew what was happening my mum had poured water on me and my sister was shouting blood of Jesus repeatedly; I just passed out.

I really don't want to ask questions but really, why do innocent people have to die?? The knowledge of Richard's wife's demise this evening just literally weakened me. I feel numb, oh lawd!she was only 29, why did she have to die :,(, to think of the fact that she died while heavy/in labor is just.... I'm speechless, I don't even know what to say. I know when they got married, she is such a simple lady and Richard is the coolest of my brother's friends, O God why??Both the expected baby and mummy gone, who is to take care of the 2 years old toddler at home?? I can't imagine his pains, being a widower at that young age, I really don't understand why God allowed it to happen!

What of baba's daughter, Jesu E gba mi...I cant stomach it...after 9 months of pregnancy, only for the baby to now die after delivery. What is all this?? I know some of my school mates who have children who are hale and hearty outside wedlock and I cant just understand how married women will now be experiencing complications at childbirth... Honestly, I don't feel like getting close to a guy now, or conceiving( Dear Lord please help not be scared of getting pregnant). I want to get married inn due time, conceive in due time, put to bed healthily in due time and both I and the child that the Lord has given me should be in excellent health(Dear Lord pleeaasse grant me my heart desire).

I don't want to pass out again or to start feeling dizzy because of one bad news. Dear Lord, Pleeaasse I do not want to receive bad news and don't want to send out bad news either. Please Lord God have mercy on me, I don't want to cry again, I don't even want reasons to ever consider it, I have cried so much in this my short life, please dry my eyes and wipe away my tears, I want to be celebrated, to bring joy to the lives of others, to be a blessing to thousand and to be God's best gift to my husband and my prayer is for God to keep us happily together till ripe old grey years, Amen! I know I am a sinner, please merciful God, please forgive me all my sins and grant me a beautiful and fulfilling life.

#marriage#relationship#courtship#myopinion

So yesterday I learnt something. Most people only plan for weddings, I mean they look up wedding gowns online, they put in so much energy just to have a fairy-tale wedding, but they miss making thorough preparations for the most vital thing about a union and that is "marriage".

Marriage as we all know is the state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life, which leads us to another vital issue. How many people really believe that as ordained by God "marriage is till death do you apart"? But guess what?whether you believe/accept it or not, God has ordained it and so you will not enter heaven if you fall short of this.

Truly really, the importance of a thorough preparation towards spending the rest of your life with another person cannot be overemphasized. One question you should constantly ask yourself is, will I look forward to waking up each day to see this person for the next 100 years come rain come shine? Today we have so many failed marriages and the reason is not far-fetched. It is simply  "poor preparation". 

Why am I going into this relationship is the first question to be asked. Personally I feel every relationship or is it courtship should be towards marriage and so if you are not somebody I think I can spend 100 years with, then why on earth should I say yes to you. And so it baffles me when I see people who do not want to marry their current boy/girl friend and it gets me thinking.....what are you now doing with him/her? Are you only in the relationship because you want to leave the singles corner(i know so many ppl do this) but my dear being single is not a sin neither is it a reproach, rather it is the best time to develop yourself for the future.

Today I know that your spouse should be your destiny helper, your help-meet, your better half, your best-friend, the bone of your bone and the rib of your rib. One of my greatest prayer points is for God to settle me maritally on time because I have an age target and so if you are still young you should be doing the same thing; believe me, you don't want to get desperate while still looking for a future partner. And to the old youths that are still unmarried, it is not a death sentence neither is it a stigma. It is no reason for you to just marry anybody that indicates interest/agrees for you. I know it is harder when it is this late but one thing is certain "Oluwa is definitely involved" and if you don't shift focus he will make you laugh at the end.

For the ladies one testimony I will like to share is the story of a sister who finished university late. By the time she was serving she was already over 30 but still she was true to God. After service she still didn't get married early. The people she finished school with had gotten married and had 2-3 kids, yet she was still trusting God for a life partner. When it finally happened, it was a man of God who visited Nigeria for a program that sought her hand in marriage. In HIS awesomeness when people were thinking menopause had caught up with her, the Lord opened her womb, she conceived immediately and she delivered triplets...you can say it again...God is awesome!!! Our God is a perfect God, you just have to trust him  that He will make you smile in the end.

Yes yes yes, another learnt truth is that you should not enter into marriage waiting on God for a job. There is no how it won't cause frequent quarrels in the house regardless of how loving the other partner is. Guys that say ladies won't agree except they are rich are mistaken...A lady will only not agree if you are jobless or if you are managing one minuscule job and you don't have prospects. Even if I will marry a guy that is not well to do materially then he has to be well to do intellectually. Another thing is that money is not everything, even if you are richer than Bill gates and I cannot see you helping me to fulfill destiny then its a no-no #shikena. And guys if you don't have money then don't prioritize getting married. I am not saying you should be rich before you get married, I am only saying you should be able to take care of the family financially because the truth is that a woman is only to support you not carry the whole responsibility. One beautiful thing is that God is in support of marriage, I mean He is the author of the first marriage ever and as such there are blessings attached to every marriage done rightfully.

Finally, regardless of your age, no man is doing you any favor by asking to marry you and so you should always be treated with respect( ladies that wash, cook, clean and attend to their fiance everytime, the height is the ones that allow them raise hands against them). You are the apple of God's eye and nobody should make you feel less.

And develop yourself, groom yourself and develop yourself again. Ladies that don't know how to cook or are not neat/organised start learning it now. Guys that are not personally hygienic or snore while sleeping or do not even enter kitchen at all, start learning to do these things now. There's no limit to how you can develop yourself. Develop yourself all round to be a home builder, sustainer and pillar.

And never forget the most important factor of any blissful union "GOD"...without God you are just on your own, so my brother my sister seek Him today and He will manifest his supremacy in your life/home.

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If you really desire a God-fearing man, then you have to reverence God first. Few days back, it just dropped to my mind that the reason God never gave me his son was because I wasn't ready for him. After pondering on it , it suddenly made perfect sense. I always knew I was going to end up with a good Christian because of the kind of people I crushed on, I first knew this before I became a Christian though I wasn't interested in dating one then...I just wanted a good guy that was fun to be with.. But sincerely, if I had been in a relationship with one from as far back as when we were in school, we would not only have broken-up by now, I would also have broken his heart; and God didn't want me to break his son's heart so he hid him from me. GBAM!!!
One simple truth to ladies like me who want a man who loves God is that; you have to be rightly aligned with God first before He will consider giving you his son. I am learning about God more and more on a daily basis, and I have realised that I am expected to love, cherish, value and respect his son. With this knowledge even if he annoys me, I cant nurse the idea of breaking his heart intentionally, I don't want to incur God's wrath. Besides, God giving me his son means that I am now also special to Him; and as such I am confident that He has surely given me the bone of my bone, the rib of my rib and through the help of the Holy spirit, all will be well with our union.