Sunday, March 15, 2015

#marriage#relationship#courtship#myopinion

So yesterday I learnt something. Most people only plan for weddings, I mean they look up wedding gowns online, they put in so much energy just to have a fairy-tale wedding, but they miss making thorough preparations for the most vital thing about a union and that is "marriage".
Marriage as we all know is the state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life, which leads us to another vital issue. How many people really believe that as ordained by God "marriage is till death do you apart"? But guess what?whether you believe/accept it or not, God has ordained it and so you will not enter heaven if you fall short of this.

Truly really, the importance of a thorough preparation towards spending the rest of your life with another person cannot be overemphasized. One question you should constantly ask yourself is, will I look forward to waking up each day to see this person for the next 100 years come rain come shine? Today we have so many failed marriages and the reason is not far-fetched. It is simply  "poor preparation". 
Why am I going into this relationship is the first question to be asked. Personally I feel every relationship or is it courtship should be towards marriage and so if you are not somebody I think I can spend 100 years with, then why on earth should I say yes to you. And so it baffles me when I see people who do not want to marry their current boy/girl friend and it gets me thinking.....what are you now doing with him/her? Are you only in the relationship because you want to leave the singles corner(i know so many ppl do this) but my dear being single is not a sin neither is it a reproach, rather it is the best time to develop yourself for the future.

Today I know that your spouse should be your destiny helper, your help-meet, your better half, your best-friend, the bone of your bone and the rib of your rib. One of my greatest prayer points is for God to settle me maritally on time because I have an age target and so if you are still young you should be doing the same thing; believe me, you don't want to get desperate while still looking for a future partner. And to the old youths that are still unmarried, it is not a death sentence neither is it a stigma. It is no reason for you to just marry anybody that indicates interest/agrees for you. I know it is harder when it is this late but one thing is certain "Oluwa is definitely involved" and if you don't shift focus he will make you laugh at the end.

For the ladies one testimony I will like to share is the story of a sister who finished university late. By the time she was serving she was already over 30 but still she was true to God. After service she still didn't get married early. The people she finished school with had gotten married and had 2-3 kids, yet she was still trusting God for a life partner. When it finally happened, it was a man of God who visited Nigeria for a program that sought her hand in marriage. In HIS awesomeness when people were thinking menopause had caught up with her, the Lord opened her womb, she conceived immediately and she delivered triplets...you can say it again...God is awesome!!! Our God is a perfect God, you just have to trust him  that He will make you smile in the end.

Yes yes yes, another learnt truth is that you should not enter into marriage waiting on God for a job. There is no how it won't cause frequent quarrels in the house regardless of how loving the other partner is. Guys that say ladies won't agree except they are rich are mistaken...A lady will only not agree if you are jobless or if you are managing one minuscule job and you don't have prospects. Even if I will marry a guy that is not well to do materially then he has to be well to do intellectually. Another thing is that money is not everything, even if you are richer than Bill gates and I cannot see you helping me to fulfill destiny then its a no-no #shikena. And guys if you don't have money then don't prioritize getting married. I am not saying you should be rich before you get married, I am only saying you should be able to take care of the family financially because the truth is that a woman is only to support you not carry the whole responsibility. One beautiful thing is that God is in support of marriage, I mean He is the author of the first marriage ever and as such there are blessings attached to every marriage done rightfully.

Finally, regardless of your age, no man is doing you any favor by asking to marry you and so you should always be treated with respect( ladies that wash, cook, clean and attend to their fiance everytime, the height is the ones that allow them raise hands against them). You are the apple of God's eye and nobody should make you feel less.
And develop yourself, groom yourself and develop yourself again. Ladies that don't know how to cook or are not neat/organised start learning it now. Guys that are not personally hygienic or snore while sleeping or do not even enter kitchen at all, start learning to do these things now. There's no limit to how you can develop yourself. Develop yourself all round to be a home builder, sustainer and pillar.

And never forget the most important factor of any blissful union "GOD"...without God you are just on your own, so my brother my sister seek Him today and He will manifest his supremacy in your life/home.
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If you really desire a God-fearing man, then you have to reverence God first. Few days back, it just dropped to my mind that the reason God never gave me his son was because I wasn't ready for him. After pondering on it , it suddenly made perfect sense. I always knew I was going to end up with a good Christian because of the kind of people I crushed on, I first knew this before I became a Christian though I wasn't interested in dating one then...I just wanted a good guy that was fun to be with.. But sincerely, if I had been in a relationship with one from as far back as when we were in school, we would not only have broken-up by now, I would also have broken his heart; and God didn't want me to break his son's heart so he hid him from me. GBAM!!!
One simple truth to ladies like me who want a man who loves God is that; you have to be rightly aligned with God first before He will consider giving you his son. I am learning about God more and more on a daily basis, and I have realised that I am expected to love, cherish, value and respect his son. With this knowledge even if he annoys me, I cant nurse the idea of breaking his heart intentionally, I don't want to incur God's wrath. Besides, God giving me his son means that I am now also special to Him; and as such I am confident that He has surely given me the bone of my bone, the rib of my rib and through the help of the Holy spirit, all will be well with our union.

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