Sunday, March 22, 2015


I feel so weak right now, I mean I really want the tears to flow out freely, I want to cry, my heart is heavy, what is all this? I hate hearing about deaths of acquaintances let alone friends, it weakens me (O God please don't let me lose any of my friends anytime soon, let us live long), I dunno how I will handle it). I remember my sister telling me of the awful condition her classmate passed through just before he passed on, I never knew Jeffery, I had never even heard of him before that day, but the sadness in my sister's voice did it all and before I knew what was happening my mum had poured water on me and my sister was shouting blood of Jesus repeatedly; I just passed out.

I really don't want to ask questions but really, why do innocent people have to die?? The knowledge of Richard's wife's demise this evening just literally weakened me. I feel numb, oh lawd!she was only 29, why did she have to die :,(, to think of the fact that she died while heavy/in labor is just.... I'm speechless, I don't even know what to say. I know when they got married, she is such a simple lady and Richard is the coolest of my brother's friends, O God why??Both the expected baby and mummy gone, who is to take care of the 2 years old toddler at home?? I can't imagine his pains, being a widower at that young age, I really don't understand why God allowed it to happen!

What of baba's daughter, Jesu E gba mi...I cant stomach it...after 9 months of pregnancy, only for the baby to now die after delivery. What is all this?? I know some of my school mates who have children who are hale and hearty outside wedlock and I cant just understand how married women will now be experiencing complications at childbirth... Honestly, I don't feel like getting close to a guy now, or conceiving( Dear Lord please help not be scared of getting pregnant). I want to get married inn due time, conceive in due time, put to bed healthily in due time and both I and the child that the Lord has given me should be in excellent health(Dear Lord pleeaasse grant me my heart desire).

I don't want to pass out again or to start feeling dizzy because of one bad news. Dear Lord, Pleeaasse I do not want to receive bad news and don't want to send out bad news either. Please Lord God have mercy on me, I don't want to cry again, I don't even want reasons to ever consider it, I have cried so much in this my short life, please dry my eyes and wipe away my tears, I want to be celebrated, to bring joy to the lives of others, to be a blessing to thousand and to be God's best gift to my husband and my prayer is for God to keep us happily together till ripe old grey years, Amen! I know I am a sinner, please merciful God, please forgive me all my sins and grant me a beautiful and fulfilling life.

No comments:

Post a Comment