This fateful night, I am actually typing this post with my left hand while eating 'Swallow' with my right hand; it is just very important that I do this before I forget.
Now I'm particular about young Christians (believers). Do they really hear a voice or do they just gamble and settle with the nice lady that spiritualises it and says "Okay, let Baba have HIS way.
I have heard stories of young men walking up to choice ladies ( truth to be told, the men already admire these ladies before they "hear this voice"), telling them 'God revealed/said/told me that you are my wife'. Some of them end up marrying these women, while others don't because of one thing or the other, " I just know that God is not a Son of man that HE should repent".
I remember a certain vibrant, young believer that spoke to like three ladies before he married his wife just because he put the cart before the horse "he was looking/searching for a spouse instead of being totally sold out; I like to think that God interrupts men to start a relationship and get married not men deciding to one their own. At a point, I lost respect for the young man cause I saw him as a hustler; to me he was hustling for a wife.
I heard of a guy recently: this guy claims God told him that a particular sister is his wife. He went to meet the sister and the sister rejected his proposal; he kept at it until he got tired and moved on. Today he is in a relationship with another sister who he says he is not convinced about, and I'm wondering: if he was not convinced, then why did he start the relationship, what did he even tell the sister, did he lie to her, is he so desperate to have a spouse, what has happened to his faith, ...?
I think a lot of believers forget that the flesh also speaks and that it is daily struggle to suppress the flesh; I think we imagine that flesh is dead forever by works; forgetting that we are still to constantly beat our flesh under subjection.
Let me end this post with what the Holy Spirit taught me about a portion of Genesis.
1. Adam was very engrossed with God's work- He was diligent about his calling/ fulfilling purpose that he didn't even miss a fly.
2. God was the one that said it was not good for Adam to be alone- Adam never complained, I doubt if He ever desired it. It was God in the beauty and perfection of HIS creation and because of HIS master-plan that HE said it was not good for Adam to be alone and then HE caused Adam to sleep deep and took out of him to create the she-male and brought her to him. Many married men are still supposed to be single alas they have rushed to get married.
Seriously, it is not in the position of men to be looking for spouses. Tbh, if according to HIS plan and purpose for your life you are supposed to get married then you can be certain that the Alpha and Omega has fashioned her out for you already and will surely bring her to you, your only responsibility is to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit so you can discern when you see/meet her. Lets never ever make 'getting married' a goal/vision + it is not even compulsory. While I'm not certain because I've not confirmed yet, I sometimes feel like never getting married and believe you me "I will do excellently fine".
God didnt tell Adam that Eve was his wife, HE only brought her to him and Adam discerned because of his constant fellowship with God. In the same vein, HE will surely bring your wife to you just that i doubt He will say 'categorically' that she is your wife.
Just submit yourself to the leading of the Holy Spirit.
Out of context but I still wanna share: It was my personal fear but I strongly feel that many believers fear it too, that GOD will give them a woman/man who doesn't meet their taste, who they won't be proud of, who they will find it difficult to love but I tell you that these are just gimmicks of the enemy.
The scriptures say " if ye who are... know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven...". The woman God will bring to you is and will definitely be the best because the Almighty knew you before you were formed and has also fashioned a suitable help-meet for you; and her helping you to fulfill purpose ni koko ninu oro.
"How many believers really know their purpose"??
The second thing is that God's gifts are not for unbroken/unbended people. It is a pity that there are many unbroken vibrant church workers. If you are not broken, you can hardly appreciate God's gift and treat her like the eyinojuoluwa that she is.
n.b * I concluded the post with my two hands after eating*
Friday, October 23, 2015
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Words on my lips currently/ How I feel right now
My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy's like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again
Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
'Cause Your grace still amazes me
Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there's no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise
It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher
It's deeper it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher than anything my eyes can see
Your tender mercy's like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again
Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
'Cause Your grace still amazes me
Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there's no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise
It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher
It's deeper it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher than anything my eyes can see
Saturday, October 3, 2015
Myles Munroe - The Power Of Purpose (Azusa '90) - Full Video
Finally I have a mentor and you wont hear word again. Dr. Myles Munroe lives on!!!!!! Find your purpose
I remember I have been kinda hungry for purpose identification for about a year now and I know now that God has only been preparing me to learn now........I'm learning so much now and I feel like woah I'm favored! well actually I am. I am the one daughter that He is really interested in.
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Happy Independence God's Choice Country
Happy Independence to Nigeria!!!
Who is Nigeria to me? Nigeria is a fruitful, fertile and rich land that has the capacity to flow with milk and honey. Nigeria is a great country, very prosperous and mightily blessed. Nigeria is our own Jerusalem; sometimes I feel even God is certifying Nigeria as the new covenanted Israel.
We clocked 55 years today and all I can say is "Thank you Lord". Inspite of all the enormous challenges that we have faced since 1960, we are still standing strong and together as a nation. I believe so much in this nation. I am one of the few people who have learnt to appreciate this nation. We need to stop saying things like; nothing works in this nation/ Nigeria is corruption nationalised/there is no hope for this nation etc.............
Nigeria is not for the government, it is for everyone that has a Nigerian citizenship. We can't keep being negative about the nation and expect her to move forward, we can't continue to act indifferently to matters arising in the nation, we cant continue to run away from her and expect things to get better.
I look at the number of people that have relocated from Nigeria and I feel bad. Imagine if all these gifted hands/minds were still in the country, we would be better than USA but no! they would rather make America work than strive to make Nigeria work.
I look at people that are looking for a way to leave and I am even sadder. Just because you have been unable to get a job after 1/2/3 years of graduation is not enough reason to decide to leave this country. So many Nigerians are willing to hustle anyhow abroad but are not willing to do the same here just because they feel they are entitled to a good life here. I tell you, there is no way I am deserting this nation; as a matter of fact, the only reason why I desire an international M.Sc is because I want to be well/better equipped to add value to this nation. If only many people shared this idea with me, we would have been singing a better song.
My appeal this day is particularly to people who have left Nigeria to further their studies abroad, please come back home!! Nigeria cannot attain a meaningful height with the calibre of people in government currently. We the young ones need to come back home after getting more knowledge to unseat these people that know nothing if Nigeria will ever develop. We cant keep deserting our country and saying Nigeria holds no future for us; WE ARE THE FUTURE OF NIGERIA and only us can ensure this truth.
#Newsflash- Heaven has decreed Nigeria's development and prosperity, so if you choose to be a part of it- good for you and if otherwise- what can I say. God who planted you in this nation surely had a reason for doing so, you should at least be able to come up with a perfect explanation why you deserted it when you get to heaven (especially if you are a believer). I don't even see what people see in USA in particular other than better education, so much evil and vice is going on there that I cant even exhaust if I start mentioning.
I believe in this nation, I believe God will disgrace the enemies of this nation and I am convinced Nigeria is better than any other country.
"Nigeria's growth/development/improvement is heavily dependent on the mindset/attitude/determination/actions of her people...Start the change you desire in this nation.....be a change agent/catalyst"- Miibee
GOD BLESS NIGERIA!
Who is Nigeria to me? Nigeria is a fruitful, fertile and rich land that has the capacity to flow with milk and honey. Nigeria is a great country, very prosperous and mightily blessed. Nigeria is our own Jerusalem; sometimes I feel even God is certifying Nigeria as the new covenanted Israel.
We clocked 55 years today and all I can say is "Thank you Lord". Inspite of all the enormous challenges that we have faced since 1960, we are still standing strong and together as a nation. I believe so much in this nation. I am one of the few people who have learnt to appreciate this nation. We need to stop saying things like; nothing works in this nation/ Nigeria is corruption nationalised/there is no hope for this nation etc.............
Nigeria is not for the government, it is for everyone that has a Nigerian citizenship. We can't keep being negative about the nation and expect her to move forward, we can't continue to act indifferently to matters arising in the nation, we cant continue to run away from her and expect things to get better.
I look at the number of people that have relocated from Nigeria and I feel bad. Imagine if all these gifted hands/minds were still in the country, we would be better than USA but no! they would rather make America work than strive to make Nigeria work.
I look at people that are looking for a way to leave and I am even sadder. Just because you have been unable to get a job after 1/2/3 years of graduation is not enough reason to decide to leave this country. So many Nigerians are willing to hustle anyhow abroad but are not willing to do the same here just because they feel they are entitled to a good life here. I tell you, there is no way I am deserting this nation; as a matter of fact, the only reason why I desire an international M.Sc is because I want to be well/better equipped to add value to this nation. If only many people shared this idea with me, we would have been singing a better song.
My appeal this day is particularly to people who have left Nigeria to further their studies abroad, please come back home!! Nigeria cannot attain a meaningful height with the calibre of people in government currently. We the young ones need to come back home after getting more knowledge to unseat these people that know nothing if Nigeria will ever develop. We cant keep deserting our country and saying Nigeria holds no future for us; WE ARE THE FUTURE OF NIGERIA and only us can ensure this truth.
#Newsflash- Heaven has decreed Nigeria's development and prosperity, so if you choose to be a part of it- good for you and if otherwise- what can I say. God who planted you in this nation surely had a reason for doing so, you should at least be able to come up with a perfect explanation why you deserted it when you get to heaven (especially if you are a believer). I don't even see what people see in USA in particular other than better education, so much evil and vice is going on there that I cant even exhaust if I start mentioning.
I believe in this nation, I believe God will disgrace the enemies of this nation and I am convinced Nigeria is better than any other country.
"Nigeria's growth/development/improvement is heavily dependent on the mindset/attitude/determination/actions of her people...Start the change you desire in this nation.....be a change agent/catalyst"- Miibee
GOD BLESS NIGERIA!
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Dr. Myles Munroe "The Myth of Singleness Pt. 2"
Hmmmnnn..........this man (my mentor), this particular teaching and "single not singed" by Segun Ariyo have informed me, re-informed me and given me better sight. Okay so before I used to.............
Saturday, September 19, 2015
I have always bothered about what drives me with no answer, yesterday I got the answer to this xxx million dollar question. I strongly believe that it is not restricted to secular people, one doesn't have to be worldly before he/she can become prosperous in life. As a matter of fact, my bible tells me that prosperity comes not from the east nor the West but from God Almighty. And so I live to make a statement to the world that you can be prosperous in Christ.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Sunday, July 19, 2015
tadah.....birthday post
Awwwwwwwwwww.........I can categorically say it that this year's birthday has been my best yet. Everything about it was just awesome.....I know I was really shy and mushy at some points but I enjoyed it all. The fact that even people that I had forgotten made it a point of duty to wish me a great day made me feel good. Awwwww my office folks nko, my Gs forgot about it but they made up for it eventually. Looool Umar got down on his knees for me......wish I could post pictures here.......my Ikeji was rily adorable, I can say I fell in love all over again.......I am just really happy. I look forward to a beautiful year. Heaven knows I am really optimistic and enthusiastic about this new year....Just wish me well and join me in praying that I find and fulfill my purpose beginning from now(im a purpose preacher but I havent found mine yet *sadly enuf*) and that God grants me my heart desires. I have some core heart desires that I sincerely want God to answer me speedily on.
yayyy! Missed yu babyyy :*
Loool....but forreal iv missed being here. Ino I promised at least 1ce in a month but I'v been away since May; im sorry.
We really should be careful of what we wish for; I actually wished to be very busy because of something that was going on in my life then(I thought being very busy was the ideal way to handle it). Thank God for this sallah break else I won't have had the luxury of being here.
Enough of the prelude. I saw a talking image a while ago which got me really thinking and I thought to share here.
'I'm not a princess waiting to be saved by her prince, but a Queen who is an asset to her King"
Deeeep yea....I thought so too.
Many of us(ladies) identify weaknesses in ourselves and rather than work on them, we look for a man that can live with those weaknesses or better still a man that will help us overcome the weakness and then we tell ourselves we are not perfect beings. I have been through this lane too so I know just how we think in this regard.
I have met wonderful ladies who reoriented me unconsciously. Engee is an epitome of perfection, serzly this is one babe I would woo till I get a yes if I was a guy, I'm yet to see her flaws and I know her man knows he is blessed to have her. Mide, Chichi, Yisola and Temi are just a few of women that know their onions well.
Ever wondered why you always remain friends with these guys without any of them serzly wooing yu??? It is because you are lacking in what they want in a spouse. No offense intended here, but really it is the truth...you are simply not good enough and it has nothing to do with your looks, believe me. Your looks are secondary, the primary thing is for that focused guy to see you as a blessing/asset to him. As in the case of an employer and a job-seeker, the employer will only hire you if he sees you as being capable of adding to his organisation/ sees an untapped potential in you that will benefit his organisation. The bottom line is that he will only hire you if he sees you as an asset; and it is the same everywhere.
So my lady, enough of feeling like a princess with yourself and waiting for your Mr. Right(prince) to come and save you (marry you); rather you should work on yourself, equip yourself, make yourself indispensable, be productive, be valuable and I assure you that the bone of your bone will seek and find you out, he will woo you until you say yes and he will treasure you and do anything to keep you.............................................simply because everyone values assets.
If you dont have a job, find one; if you cant cook, start learning now; if you dont know how to dress well/use makeup, start learning now; if you are not bold/lack confidence, start building urself now; if you are not adding value yet, start adding now; if you are not living a purposeful life yet, biko go find you purpose and start living it now because really it is core, in everything just better yourself, make sure you have things to sell/share with people, be the envy of all, just be valuable.
SO BE AN ASSET!!!
We really should be careful of what we wish for; I actually wished to be very busy because of something that was going on in my life then(I thought being very busy was the ideal way to handle it). Thank God for this sallah break else I won't have had the luxury of being here.
Enough of the prelude. I saw a talking image a while ago which got me really thinking and I thought to share here.
'I'm not a princess waiting to be saved by her prince, but a Queen who is an asset to her King"
Deeeep yea....I thought so too.
Many of us(ladies) identify weaknesses in ourselves and rather than work on them, we look for a man that can live with those weaknesses or better still a man that will help us overcome the weakness and then we tell ourselves we are not perfect beings. I have been through this lane too so I know just how we think in this regard.
I have met wonderful ladies who reoriented me unconsciously. Engee is an epitome of perfection, serzly this is one babe I would woo till I get a yes if I was a guy, I'm yet to see her flaws and I know her man knows he is blessed to have her. Mide, Chichi, Yisola and Temi are just a few of women that know their onions well.
Ever wondered why you always remain friends with these guys without any of them serzly wooing yu??? It is because you are lacking in what they want in a spouse. No offense intended here, but really it is the truth...you are simply not good enough and it has nothing to do with your looks, believe me. Your looks are secondary, the primary thing is for that focused guy to see you as a blessing/asset to him. As in the case of an employer and a job-seeker, the employer will only hire you if he sees you as being capable of adding to his organisation/ sees an untapped potential in you that will benefit his organisation. The bottom line is that he will only hire you if he sees you as an asset; and it is the same everywhere.
So my lady, enough of feeling like a princess with yourself and waiting for your Mr. Right(prince) to come and save you (marry you); rather you should work on yourself, equip yourself, make yourself indispensable, be productive, be valuable and I assure you that the bone of your bone will seek and find you out, he will woo you until you say yes and he will treasure you and do anything to keep you.............................................simply because everyone values assets.
If you dont have a job, find one; if you cant cook, start learning now; if you dont know how to dress well/use makeup, start learning now; if you are not bold/lack confidence, start building urself now; if you are not adding value yet, start adding now; if you are not living a purposeful life yet, biko go find you purpose and start living it now because really it is core, in everything just better yourself, make sure you have things to sell/share with people, be the envy of all, just be valuable.
SO BE AN ASSET!!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
I am proud to be a female, especially now that I know my place is not in the kitchen
The popular scripture about wives submitting to their husbands as in Col 3:18, 1 Pet 3:1, Eph 5:22 is one of the misconstrued scriptures, because today a lot of people have understood it to be "having no identity as a woman". I know that when God was punishing Eve, He said that her desire shall be for her husband only which makes perfect sense in submission, but doesn't mean she is now his slave. Thinking of it now, I now understand why a woman desires her husband so much and is ever ready to please him, whereas all a guy ever thinks of is sex.
In my opinion, I feel we are in a dispensation where the Holy Spirit is available to direct our actions as Christians and so customs and traditions should not dictate how you head your home especially in this 21st century. So what point am I trying to drive down? That a woman desires to see her husband look good and so she washes and irons his clothes from time to time or that she desires him to look healthy and so cooks food for him regularly so that he can eat well and be healthy or that she desires him so much that she pleases him in bed, adores him and begs him even when he is the one at fault doesn't make a woman a slave/less than a man/a tool.
It pains me when I hear statements like a woman's place is in the kitchen or when I hear guys that can't wait to get married so that they can finally start eating good food (please what kind of mindset is that; Personally I feel coming into marriage with that kind of mindset is the beginning of challenges(let me not say doom) of that marriage). The one that pains me the most is when I see men who pursue education first (B.Sc, M.Sc and P.Hd) and start bugging you for marriage because they think they have arrived, they have gotten all the necessary degrees and the next is relaxation. These kind of men want to get married within 6 months of courtship not minding whether you are still in school, still serving or yet to complete your education because in their mind; having somebody to cook them good food, wash their clothes, satisfy their sexual urges and start bearing and nursing babies is the next thing in line for them. It is really painful to be seen/perceived as a tool for pleasure/comfort, it is demeaning, it is wrong, above all it is a sin because that is not how God ordained it. He made us equal and different to complement each others weaknesses.
I was sharing the anger in me with a brother that was testifying about how he found his wife in the youth fellowship with my sister this evening. When somebody asked him where she was at that moment, he proudly answered that she was in his house preparing food for him; telme is that not the most disrespectful/humiliating thing to say about a wife and that came from a 2-time youth president. I once heard about what happened between a husband and his marriage counselor; this man had gone to meet the marriage counselor to complain about how his wife was causing problems for the marriage because she was not performing her duties as a wife. The husband in question is a school teacher who married a banker. He knew she was a banker before he proposed and married her, even after the wedding they agreed she should keep the job because it generated a good source of income for the family. Now he is complaining that his wife leaves home early and comes back late, that she starves him (because he always waits for her to get home by 10pm to prepare food for him whereas he gets home by latest 6pm) and that she denies him sex. He was now saying that he had been condoning her bad habit for long and he could no longer take it again. The counselor simply told him that he was the principal course of the issues in his marriage and that he needed to work on himself asap.
I will say it till tomorrow, that even if God specifically mentions it that Tunde and Remi are destined for each other, it still takes effort from them both to make their union successful. Why should any man say the kitchen is the place of a woman and so she is the only person that should be cooking morning, afternoon and evening to the extent that you still expect your wife who gets home by 10pm because of Lagos traffic to start preparing food for you to eat by that time. Just in case you are still clueless about what will happen next, she will go to bed once she serves your food because she will be so tired and you will be very offended because you would have been expecting some action that night. Plainly said, it is not fair! It was in the olden days that out of idleness and desires for their husbands, women used to cook before they come back from the farm. Remember that then, women never used to go to the farm- their men never allowed it because they felt women were too fragile for farm work and so women being that they were always at home did everything in the house just to keep themselves busy and also to appreciate their husbands hard-work.
Today, times have changed. Women now have a career, they work different jobs to earn a living, they don't sit at home again else they are pregnant, men do not even like it when their wives don't have jobs and so you don't expect that woman to still be performing domestic duties at the pace the older woman did. Women still desire their husbands even much more these days but we all want supportive husbands; Personally, I want a man that can do domestic things; one person cannot do all the domestic chores in the house na, haba be considerate!; it is important that you as a man help me out with the domestic chores in the house from time to time. In my own view, it doesn't make you less of a man, rather it will make me value and love you the more because I know I have a supportive husband who always has my back. That is why so many women get house-helps to ease the stress while women like me who don't want house-helps pray for God's mercy and grace and I know that I won't take him for granted because the Holy Spirit will always keep me in check, I will always be submissive to his leading. I want to always look and be beautiful to my husband not old, stressed-out and grumpy.
Have we even noticed that most failed marriages begin from frustration on both sides, and frustration begins from little little things that cause lack of fulfillment in the home. Do you think there is any right thinking woman who doesn't want to love her spouse, please him at all times and be the reason behind his happiness?I doubt there is! And so it pains every woman when she is unable to meet her perceived duties as a wife and you as a husband is not helping matters, rather you are pointing out her deficiencies to her whereas you are even to blame because it takes 2 to build a home it takes 2 to tango, it takes 2 to start and raise a family and it takes 2 for you both to be successful. All those people who blame mothers for the waywardness of some children are just clueless because it takes 2 to have responsible and godly children....we all are familiar with the popular saying that behind every successful man there is a woman and vice versa.
From another angle, I feel a woman wields much more power than a man, afterall she was that powerful that she was able to talk Adam into eating the forbidden fruit and that "submission rule" was only in a bid to humble her not to ridicule her as society has adopted. Women are never to be ridiculed, rather we should be revered. Today if all women decided to ignore men, Prostitutes and respectable women alike, believe me men will be dead; they actually can't survive without women so why make her feel less whereas she is invaluable. By ignoring I don't mean just in sex, I am talking of care,love and concern; men will not survive it. Besides a man's success or failure as well as his fulfilling purpose lies in the hands of a woman whether he is naturally zealous and ambitious or not; please telme how do you explain it that somebody who wields this much power is a slave/a weaker gender??
I just feel such a person should be appreciated and supported at all times not enslaved and exercising authority over, we are too delicate to be abused and taken for granted besides WE ARE NOT TOOLS/OBJECTS OF PLEASURE, biko!
n.b- while growing up I always wished I was a male because of the respect accorded to the male gender, but today I am happy and grateful that I am a female because I know who I am and because I have an identity in God; it feels really good to know that God deemed me fit and able to mother many nations and to ensure the success of my help-meet here on earth, and so all women are a blessed gender even if it is just because they gave birth to a generation. I K.O.B am an invaluable woman with worth, dignity, purpose, skill and intelligence just as designed by God and so again, I am saying that I am happy and blessed to be a female.
Have you ever wondered why it is that when secular people want to curse/ bless a person they always send it on his/her mother; it is because the success of a home/the success of the children lie with the mother of the house and one unpopular truth is that the success of a wife/woman lies with her husband and so the importance of a help-meet can never be overemphasised. Mind you I said help-meet not spouse, anybody can be a spouse but it is only somebody that has the Holy Spirit enthroned in his/her life that can be a help-meet.
It is all inter-woven; A is responsible for the success of B, B is responsible for the success of A, both A&B are responsible for the success of Cs and so none is more important than the other. That we are wired differently doesn't make either of us inferior/superior, we are both spirit-man and God's standard for judging us is the same because we are the same/equal before him so why have we been troubling ourselves since sef?
Treat us well, govern us well, police us well, pamper us well and don't look sideways (looool)
In my opinion, I feel we are in a dispensation where the Holy Spirit is available to direct our actions as Christians and so customs and traditions should not dictate how you head your home especially in this 21st century. So what point am I trying to drive down? That a woman desires to see her husband look good and so she washes and irons his clothes from time to time or that she desires him to look healthy and so cooks food for him regularly so that he can eat well and be healthy or that she desires him so much that she pleases him in bed, adores him and begs him even when he is the one at fault doesn't make a woman a slave/less than a man/a tool.
It pains me when I hear statements like a woman's place is in the kitchen or when I hear guys that can't wait to get married so that they can finally start eating good food (please what kind of mindset is that; Personally I feel coming into marriage with that kind of mindset is the beginning of challenges(let me not say doom) of that marriage). The one that pains me the most is when I see men who pursue education first (B.Sc, M.Sc and P.Hd) and start bugging you for marriage because they think they have arrived, they have gotten all the necessary degrees and the next is relaxation. These kind of men want to get married within 6 months of courtship not minding whether you are still in school, still serving or yet to complete your education because in their mind; having somebody to cook them good food, wash their clothes, satisfy their sexual urges and start bearing and nursing babies is the next thing in line for them. It is really painful to be seen/perceived as a tool for pleasure/comfort, it is demeaning, it is wrong, above all it is a sin because that is not how God ordained it. He made us equal and different to complement each others weaknesses.
I was sharing the anger in me with a brother that was testifying about how he found his wife in the youth fellowship with my sister this evening. When somebody asked him where she was at that moment, he proudly answered that she was in his house preparing food for him; telme is that not the most disrespectful/humiliating thing to say about a wife and that came from a 2-time youth president. I once heard about what happened between a husband and his marriage counselor; this man had gone to meet the marriage counselor to complain about how his wife was causing problems for the marriage because she was not performing her duties as a wife. The husband in question is a school teacher who married a banker. He knew she was a banker before he proposed and married her, even after the wedding they agreed she should keep the job because it generated a good source of income for the family. Now he is complaining that his wife leaves home early and comes back late, that she starves him (because he always waits for her to get home by 10pm to prepare food for him whereas he gets home by latest 6pm) and that she denies him sex. He was now saying that he had been condoning her bad habit for long and he could no longer take it again. The counselor simply told him that he was the principal course of the issues in his marriage and that he needed to work on himself asap.
I will say it till tomorrow, that even if God specifically mentions it that Tunde and Remi are destined for each other, it still takes effort from them both to make their union successful. Why should any man say the kitchen is the place of a woman and so she is the only person that should be cooking morning, afternoon and evening to the extent that you still expect your wife who gets home by 10pm because of Lagos traffic to start preparing food for you to eat by that time. Just in case you are still clueless about what will happen next, she will go to bed once she serves your food because she will be so tired and you will be very offended because you would have been expecting some action that night. Plainly said, it is not fair! It was in the olden days that out of idleness and desires for their husbands, women used to cook before they come back from the farm. Remember that then, women never used to go to the farm- their men never allowed it because they felt women were too fragile for farm work and so women being that they were always at home did everything in the house just to keep themselves busy and also to appreciate their husbands hard-work.
Today, times have changed. Women now have a career, they work different jobs to earn a living, they don't sit at home again else they are pregnant, men do not even like it when their wives don't have jobs and so you don't expect that woman to still be performing domestic duties at the pace the older woman did. Women still desire their husbands even much more these days but we all want supportive husbands; Personally, I want a man that can do domestic things; one person cannot do all the domestic chores in the house na, haba be considerate!; it is important that you as a man help me out with the domestic chores in the house from time to time. In my own view, it doesn't make you less of a man, rather it will make me value and love you the more because I know I have a supportive husband who always has my back. That is why so many women get house-helps to ease the stress while women like me who don't want house-helps pray for God's mercy and grace and I know that I won't take him for granted because the Holy Spirit will always keep me in check, I will always be submissive to his leading. I want to always look and be beautiful to my husband not old, stressed-out and grumpy.
Have we even noticed that most failed marriages begin from frustration on both sides, and frustration begins from little little things that cause lack of fulfillment in the home. Do you think there is any right thinking woman who doesn't want to love her spouse, please him at all times and be the reason behind his happiness?I doubt there is! And so it pains every woman when she is unable to meet her perceived duties as a wife and you as a husband is not helping matters, rather you are pointing out her deficiencies to her whereas you are even to blame because it takes 2 to build a home it takes 2 to tango, it takes 2 to start and raise a family and it takes 2 for you both to be successful. All those people who blame mothers for the waywardness of some children are just clueless because it takes 2 to have responsible and godly children....we all are familiar with the popular saying that behind every successful man there is a woman and vice versa.
From another angle, I feel a woman wields much more power than a man, afterall she was that powerful that she was able to talk Adam into eating the forbidden fruit and that "submission rule" was only in a bid to humble her not to ridicule her as society has adopted. Women are never to be ridiculed, rather we should be revered. Today if all women decided to ignore men, Prostitutes and respectable women alike, believe me men will be dead; they actually can't survive without women so why make her feel less whereas she is invaluable. By ignoring I don't mean just in sex, I am talking of care,love and concern; men will not survive it. Besides a man's success or failure as well as his fulfilling purpose lies in the hands of a woman whether he is naturally zealous and ambitious or not; please telme how do you explain it that somebody who wields this much power is a slave/a weaker gender??
I just feel such a person should be appreciated and supported at all times not enslaved and exercising authority over, we are too delicate to be abused and taken for granted besides WE ARE NOT TOOLS/OBJECTS OF PLEASURE, biko!
n.b- while growing up I always wished I was a male because of the respect accorded to the male gender, but today I am happy and grateful that I am a female because I know who I am and because I have an identity in God; it feels really good to know that God deemed me fit and able to mother many nations and to ensure the success of my help-meet here on earth, and so all women are a blessed gender even if it is just because they gave birth to a generation. I K.O.B am an invaluable woman with worth, dignity, purpose, skill and intelligence just as designed by God and so again, I am saying that I am happy and blessed to be a female.
Have you ever wondered why it is that when secular people want to curse/ bless a person they always send it on his/her mother; it is because the success of a home/the success of the children lie with the mother of the house and one unpopular truth is that the success of a wife/woman lies with her husband and so the importance of a help-meet can never be overemphasised. Mind you I said help-meet not spouse, anybody can be a spouse but it is only somebody that has the Holy Spirit enthroned in his/her life that can be a help-meet.
It is all inter-woven; A is responsible for the success of B, B is responsible for the success of A, both A&B are responsible for the success of Cs and so none is more important than the other. That we are wired differently doesn't make either of us inferior/superior, we are both spirit-man and God's standard for judging us is the same because we are the same/equal before him so why have we been troubling ourselves since sef?
Treat us well, govern us well, police us well, pamper us well and don't look sideways (looool)
my tiny voice :(
I randomly want to voice out. Okay, before I really did not like my voice, later I started liking it and currently I am beginning not to like it. As a matter of fact, I really don't like it again. It is very saddening that even when I try to harden my voice, its softness eventually comes out.
Thinking now, I should have just taken the advice of a friend's friend who advised me to take weed back in those days (just joking, but I'm serious too). I honestly want to sound convincing and matured not like a jambite. It is only when people take the pain to hear what I have to say that they realise I am not that young.
Coupled with my petite stature, lots of people think that I am still a teenager and it is very annoying. It is more annoying that younger friends feel that they are older and try to even act like they are actually older than you. The most annoying part is that people don't take you serious; for my kind of person you are likely not to know when I am angry because somehow somehow I never sound angry and that's why I had to devise the method of silent treatment. Now it is only when I am giving them attitude/ keeping to myself/ giving them one word answers/ ignoring them that they start guessing that I am not happy with them
Tope is a very very typical example, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! I wish I could beat him up
Thinking now, I should have just taken the advice of a friend's friend who advised me to take weed back in those days (just joking, but I'm serious too). I honestly want to sound convincing and matured not like a jambite. It is only when people take the pain to hear what I have to say that they realise I am not that young.
Coupled with my petite stature, lots of people think that I am still a teenager and it is very annoying. It is more annoying that younger friends feel that they are older and try to even act like they are actually older than you. The most annoying part is that people don't take you serious; for my kind of person you are likely not to know when I am angry because somehow somehow I never sound angry and that's why I had to devise the method of silent treatment. Now it is only when I am giving them attitude/ keeping to myself/ giving them one word answers/ ignoring them that they start guessing that I am not happy with them
Tope is a very very typical example, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! I wish I could beat him up
Monday, May 4, 2015
God mercies kept me, so I wouldnt let go
So I just recapped my visit to OAU which afforded me the opportunity to see some QC friends and I have been able to reflect on how far God has kept me. I also discovered that I have been a shy person since pry school days, just that I had potentials which always announced me first, but the reverse was the case from my senior secondary school days especially till I completed my University education- well that is by the way!
As a QC girl, everybody later became aware that I was a scholar material and a maths guru too and this helped me become popular and to have many friends. Well, I wasn't a Christian then so it wasn't difficult for me to blend well, start breaking rules, flouting orders and being rude. But something I just realised is that though God allowed me to live life my way, he was always watching over me and kept me from taking some drastic actions; I do not know why He did it but now that that I can see, I am very grateful that He did. I said something unknowingly "that it was when I started blending with others that I began to enjoy school" which got me thinking much later.
I remember when I bailed out of school in between the WAEC exams. I was bored in school and I had just one more paper to go (further maths) but it was 3/4 days away and so I disguised as a day student (I was a boarder) and left school to stay with a friend. I learnt some lessons which shaped my life a bit from that day.
Lesson #1- Never to bail out of school again:- This was the major lesson I learnt that day and so I couldn't even leave school during NECO exams though it was boring and lonely in the boarding house but mehn, I bore my cross that period. I was stranded when I bailed out of school during WAEC. My friend eventually didn't come to pick me that day and I had to sleep in another friend's house that stayed in Yaba because I couldn't go back to school again- I dint want to put myself in trouble. Before I finally called up the other friend at about to 12 am, I was still on the road and I was very scared especially because many guys were still on the road and I could have been raped/harassed (they finished playing the Chelsea-Arsenal match while I was on the road).
Lesson #2- Never to go to a club again:- Though nothing particular happened to me in those clubs, something happened just as I was coming down from the taxi; I slammed the door against my finger. I don't know how it happened, I just know I slammed the door against my finger, blood gushed out from it and my finger nail broke(you can just imagine how painful it must have been). As if that was not enough, whether it was stolen or I lost it, all I know is that I didn't return to my friend's house that night with my phone.
To crown it all, I now fell ill and I was vomiting and stooling. Finally when I got back to school on my exam day I felt very somehow- I knew I wasn't ready 1 bit but I went in trusting on my maths skills. when the results finally came I had A1 in mathematics and F9 in further maths (the only stain to my result). When NECO came I wasn't still serious and I had the courage to absent myself from account exam though I was in school. When the result finally came, I was so happy that they put dash (-) against it for me because I was able to lie that it was NECO that made the mistake when I was explaining it to my dad..
God kept me even in Uni,in spite of my exposure and my kind of friends. He allowed the spirit of timidity to suppress me and like it or not, as evil as that spirit was, timidity is actually the reason I didn't take some drastic action. Believe me everything that has a disadvantage also has an advantage(and vice versa) and that is why it is always important to thank the Almighty regardless of the situation you might be facing.
All I can say is thank you Lord. Being the Alpha and the Omega, you who knows my future and who knew that some actions will mar my kind of person for life kept me back from taking them. Am I not blessed?? To have had the mercy of the most high even when I was swimming in Sin
Halleluyah
As a QC girl, everybody later became aware that I was a scholar material and a maths guru too and this helped me become popular and to have many friends. Well, I wasn't a Christian then so it wasn't difficult for me to blend well, start breaking rules, flouting orders and being rude. But something I just realised is that though God allowed me to live life my way, he was always watching over me and kept me from taking some drastic actions; I do not know why He did it but now that that I can see, I am very grateful that He did. I said something unknowingly "that it was when I started blending with others that I began to enjoy school" which got me thinking much later.
I remember when I bailed out of school in between the WAEC exams. I was bored in school and I had just one more paper to go (further maths) but it was 3/4 days away and so I disguised as a day student (I was a boarder) and left school to stay with a friend. I learnt some lessons which shaped my life a bit from that day.
Lesson #1- Never to bail out of school again:- This was the major lesson I learnt that day and so I couldn't even leave school during NECO exams though it was boring and lonely in the boarding house but mehn, I bore my cross that period. I was stranded when I bailed out of school during WAEC. My friend eventually didn't come to pick me that day and I had to sleep in another friend's house that stayed in Yaba because I couldn't go back to school again- I dint want to put myself in trouble. Before I finally called up the other friend at about to 12 am, I was still on the road and I was very scared especially because many guys were still on the road and I could have been raped/harassed (they finished playing the Chelsea-Arsenal match while I was on the road).
Lesson #2- Never to go to a club again:- Though nothing particular happened to me in those clubs, something happened just as I was coming down from the taxi; I slammed the door against my finger. I don't know how it happened, I just know I slammed the door against my finger, blood gushed out from it and my finger nail broke(you can just imagine how painful it must have been). As if that was not enough, whether it was stolen or I lost it, all I know is that I didn't return to my friend's house that night with my phone.
To crown it all, I now fell ill and I was vomiting and stooling. Finally when I got back to school on my exam day I felt very somehow- I knew I wasn't ready 1 bit but I went in trusting on my maths skills. when the results finally came I had A1 in mathematics and F9 in further maths (the only stain to my result). When NECO came I wasn't still serious and I had the courage to absent myself from account exam though I was in school. When the result finally came, I was so happy that they put dash (-) against it for me because I was able to lie that it was NECO that made the mistake when I was explaining it to my dad..
God kept me even in Uni,in spite of my exposure and my kind of friends. He allowed the spirit of timidity to suppress me and like it or not, as evil as that spirit was, timidity is actually the reason I didn't take some drastic action. Believe me everything that has a disadvantage also has an advantage(and vice versa) and that is why it is always important to thank the Almighty regardless of the situation you might be facing.
All I can say is thank you Lord. Being the Alpha and the Omega, you who knows my future and who knew that some actions will mar my kind of person for life kept me back from taking them. Am I not blessed?? To have had the mercy of the most high even when I was swimming in Sin
Halleluyah
I am not a hater tho
yaaay we are in May, all glory to God! I just remembered something that propelled to write this post which centers on courtesy-ing contacts (loool). After the words "I Love you", I think "you/he/she are/is my friend" are the next abused/misused words. How do some people manage to title every body they know "a friend" and how do some people manage to have new best-friends everywhere they go; as my twin brother will say "they aint loyal".
Starting with the latter, I don't think it is possible for you to be having best friends at different points of your life if you know what you are doing; especially when it is not like the previous one died. I mean maybe it is possible, but it is not logical for a right thinking person. A best-friend is a bff (best friend forever); I have seen people change best-friends like they are changing clothes and I wonder, whatever happened to the forever part in your case? It is no news that it is impossible to remain in one place/spot/level all your life and so you will be meeting new people are different times, but the ability to maintain a very good relationship with your friends irrespective of time and distance is one of the many things I feel makes an individual beautiful.
You don't even have to necessarily title anybody best-friend. Just have a group of best buddies and chill till you have a spouse then he/she will be your best friend, shikena!
Now to the matter of those that like to call everybody friend. Seriously, I am not a hater, I just find it rather somehow when you call acquaintances friends. Till tomorrow, some contacts will never proceed beyond that acquaintance lane so leave it that way. The fact that you once knew somebody or you have met somebody before doesn't make him/her your friend; for me friendship is too sacred and special to generalise like that. It pisses me off when I hear "Oh her, yes I know her, she's my friend" from you and from her I hear" oh that lady, yes I remember her, we were level mates in school" no strings attached. I honestly believe that you can relate to my displeasure.
Please henceforth do well to differentiate them especially if you are gisting with me :*
Starting with the latter, I don't think it is possible for you to be having best friends at different points of your life if you know what you are doing; especially when it is not like the previous one died. I mean maybe it is possible, but it is not logical for a right thinking person. A best-friend is a bff (best friend forever); I have seen people change best-friends like they are changing clothes and I wonder, whatever happened to the forever part in your case? It is no news that it is impossible to remain in one place/spot/level all your life and so you will be meeting new people are different times, but the ability to maintain a very good relationship with your friends irrespective of time and distance is one of the many things I feel makes an individual beautiful.
You don't even have to necessarily title anybody best-friend. Just have a group of best buddies and chill till you have a spouse then he/she will be your best friend, shikena!
Now to the matter of those that like to call everybody friend. Seriously, I am not a hater, I just find it rather somehow when you call acquaintances friends. Till tomorrow, some contacts will never proceed beyond that acquaintance lane so leave it that way. The fact that you once knew somebody or you have met somebody before doesn't make him/her your friend; for me friendship is too sacred and special to generalise like that. It pisses me off when I hear "Oh her, yes I know her, she's my friend" from you and from her I hear" oh that lady, yes I remember her, we were level mates in school" no strings attached. I honestly believe that you can relate to my displeasure.
Please henceforth do well to differentiate them especially if you are gisting with me :*
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