I should really be a relationship expert/marriage counselor, this topic has so far been of major interest and concern to me. I look forward to educating hundreds and thousands of people about it beginning from now and I sincerely pray to have a model courtship/marriage that will guide others in theirs.
So I mentioned it earlier that this topic has been of major interest/concern to me; and why do you think it is so? I'm aware that God ordained the first marriage ever and He meant it to last forever and as such, it really aches me when I hear/see failed marriages months/years after wedding( mind you, failed marriages are not only broken marriages; there are some people still in their husbands houses afraid of divorcing their husbands for some reason-maybe children, and they are passing through HELL in the house where there is no more love in silence). It pains me when I see/hear about depressed ladies especially(they happen to be the most affected gender in bad relationships), or when I see single mothers or couples going their separate ways.
Hmmmmnnn, how do I start now?? Okay, seek ye first the Kingdom of God and every other thing shall be added unto you....I don't want to believe that we have all failed in this because I know God's mercy is ever sufficient; I mean our flesh is weak, but God helps our mortal bodies and so we still have a lot of people who want to know Him more. Nonetheless, it is paramount to know God first, for him to give you his son and then it is again paramount for you both to know that after God has linked you both together, it is left to you to work out the success of your union together(many people especially men forget that it takes two for a marriage to stand; they make it look like its the responsibility of a woman which is utterly wrong!).
This makes me remember ***** and ****, they are not married yet but they've been engaged from day 1(they never did the conventional dating; courtship straight-up). ***** told me that God told her that her spouse(who was just a bro seeking her heart then) was his son and she should take very good care of him; and as a God-lover she had to accept His will and obey. It took me time before I knew she also referred to him as sir and called him daddy too- honestly, I was puzzled when I found out, daddy,sir, for what na? was my response after I found out. I couldn't even fathom how anybody could call her spouse daddy/sir when they weren't married yet....but **** had an understanding, he was God's gift to her and she needed to start treating him with care beginning from then, besides they had already being unified in heaven. Now that I look back, I am actually learning a lot from them. They also used to have misunderstandings, but they always dealt with them. Chai, my heart melted the day I heard her calling him Oba mi abi Ade mi and apologizing to him. I seriously had no understanding then, but that how you treat God's gift with respect and care.
But what is happening these days, r we all lost souls that God has decided to leave us to ourselves? Have we all become spiritually blind that we no longer see/hear God's plans for us per-time?? I for one, I know I have stopped dreaming (and that's 1 major way, I used to hear from God). I noticed this a decade ago; it never really bothered me until recently and I have seriously been praying about it- I pray that God will answer me soonest. Is nobody hearing from God again??because ko te ye mi mo.....what explains a sister getting married to a bro in church after he has approached her and she has committed it to God's hands, and then joy is missing in heir home months/years after??
*sigh*, I know that the church is not what it is supposed to be, which is really saddening. I just pray that in His mercy, God releases his fresh fire upon his church, upon me, upon us all because the enemy shouldn't be mocking us.
Lest I forget, there is a force against the success of marriages, and so beginning courtship/getting married is not a time to think you have entered into your rest. You will rest when you get to heaven, meanwhile, for now it is Christiani, ma i ti wa isinmi, arin ota ni o wa. Like salvation, you have to work out the success of your marriage with serious diligence and steadfastness. I am saying it emphatically that even with God's support, it still takes "two" to make it work. As a woman, that you have married your love/best-friend doesn't mean there is no need to continuously make him to fall in love with you and woo you over and over again, and guys, men, okunrins; it is really a faux pas to have the mindset of "I have taken that bold step, I have married her, I am indeed a man, E.O.D". I have seen this mistake men make severally and the end is not good.
Okay so far, I have heard that these days days the christian guys are not any better, men are becoming less understanding and are no longer supportive and that social media is a spoiler! hmmnnnn....I think I have addressed most of these issues in the above discussion. What do people really mean by a christian guy? Is it a good guy that goes to church regularly, or one that you can see that really loves God? I stand corrected though,but I strongly believe that engaging in so many church activities does not certify that you love God in-depth. I mean, if you really love God; you will know that honoring, respecting and loving your wife is a means of doing the same unto God. You cannot claim to love God and get so tied up with church and work activities to the detriment of your relationship with your wife. I dunno if you get me, but loving God in-depth also means loving your wife too because she is His gift to you and how you handle this gift goes a long way to tell how you esteem Him. You cannot claim to love God and now commit adultery or try to make your wife jealous of your female acquaintances, you should do everything to make your wife to be praising God for bringing you her way.It really puzzles me when men get married and stop being romantic. All they want is just sex and food and this habit alone is enough to turn off any woman, I mean it is now like you just married her only for your own good; so that you can now be eating good food, so that you don't have to struggle with lust anymore, so that you can sleep with her at will, so that God being merciful, you thought can join the fathers' league (many men never carried their children, let alone change their diapers). It is no longer news that men today(Christians and pagans alike) get married for selfish reasons and not to find a help-meet that together , you both can build an umpire to fulfill your destinies.Need I remind you that if you fail in your marriage, then there's hardly a chance of you fulfilling destiny- Na hell sure pass be that!
Today we find men becoming less considerate, when you were dating, he seemed like the perfect guy but now you just don't understand the transformation. I hope you people know that you will always see others' weaknesses/shortcomings when you become closer/when you move in together and it is still God you can trust concerning him/her and that is why Oluwa must have been involved from the beginning!
christian men are not any better
social media- no more privacy, intimacy